Good morning and happy Friday! If you live in the USA, you are waking up to celebrate having a day off (you better be if you’re reading this at least), enjoying hopefully a weekend of joy, fun, and standing up for yourself. You can check out anywhere I post content (Twitter, Instagram, TikTok) to find my readings for this card of the day. Well, weekend I should say.
I’ve linked everything above - make sure that you check out PPP for the full reading that came up with regards to the magic card and the amazing work that Brice, Danielle and I did.
You can also check out Queerify Wellness for more information regarding the energy of Cancer season. You should be able to find that anywhere.
This morning, I didn’t want to write a lot but I wanted to make sure I pushed my content out across all avenues to make sure that you all got a little notification there is work going on out there coming from me. I’ve been told to take a rest, recently, by a wonderful psychic and tarot reader named Michelle. You can find her website here. When I tell you she ate me the fuck up yesterday? Let me give you an insert from the mini-reading she gave me:
“Strength reversed is not about you not being strong. It’s about you being tired of having to be strong all the time. It’s about the kind of strength that becomes performance. The kind that looks like, “I’m fine,” when your nervous system is in full shutdown mode. This card is saying: babe, you don’t need to hold it all together anymore. You’re not here to perform resilience. You’re here to feel and heal and actually let yourself be a human being.. not just someone surviving another week. Your nervous system needs love right now. Not pressure. Not a new hustle. Not “what do I do next?” energy. But love. Regulation. Breath. Stillness. And I don’t mean that in some soft, flowy fake spiritual way. I mean real nervous system healing. The kind where you actually notice, “Damn, I’ve been bracing for something bad to happen even when nothing is happening.” That’s what this is about. This card is asking you where are you pretending you’re okay when your soul is asking you to speak up, slow down, or be kind to yourself?
Here’s your journal prompt: Where in my life am I performing strength, when what I really need is to soften and regulate?”
There is so much that I got in the mini-reading, y’all. Let me explain, I’ve been seeing her content on my page all of a sudden since I actually started paying attention to IG again. It felt like every post was yelling at me. I didn’t have the money for it, but it magically manifested itself to where I was able to purchase the reading in the LAST HOUR that there was a sale going on. Lemme tell you…I needed to hear everything that she shared.
She really ate the fact that I am totally in shut down mode and my nervous system needs love. Imagine making less than 50K living in Brooklyn, knowing you have 3 degrees (International Studies, Spanish, and Hispanic Languages and Literatures Master’s degree) and struggling on a regular basis, tbh. That’s just the foundation of the stress that I have, along with other things that come with being alive. Girl, I’ve been on the struggle bus for a long time and a friend that I love dearly and don’t get to see often finally answered a phone call for me where I was spilling everything that’s happening in my life. He said he was worried about me, truly. And that has been sticking with me for the last few days. Because I think I’m a little worried about me too…but at the same token, I’ve always been good and I know I’m going to be GOOD. God got me. My ancestors are watching out. My spirit guides (you all) are reading and helping along the way. Bless you all for being here because idk where I would be without you.
I’m grateful that I built this community of people over almost the last decade. Prior to that if we went to school together. And I forgot that there was love around me, but I haven’t forgotten or it hasn’t gone unnoticed this week and for that I’m grateful. So like, do not be surprised if you see me taking divine rest through the month of July in places that need it. I don’t know how to rest, but I’m recommitted to trying. Rest normally only happens when I’m extremely depressed, and I want to know what it feels like to move from a calm state instead of a chaotic one. I look forward to seeing what that looks like as I continue to focus on what it means to put me first…for once.
The question posed was “Where in my life am I performing strength, when what I really need is to soften and regulate?” Baby. I’ve been performing strength everywhere because I’m Black…and I’m gay. I. Have. NO. Choice. And that’s a gag to really have to say out loud. I was born into this. I’ve just been fighting since the day I was born. And I’ll continue to fight until the day I die. But in between? I deserve rest just like my white counterparts do, and I’m going to do MY part to make sure that I release this feeling that I have to be strong, can’t ask for help, can’t share my true emotions, all of that. There’s no space for that restriction in my life anymore.
But yeah…I have a lot to do while I work on myself. And for my first trick?
Going back to sleep. I love you all. I hope you enjoy the message of the weekend. Share it with someone that needs it. Drop a comment here to see if it resonated, anything.
And don’t forget, if you missed Striptease yesterday, check her out today. Watch this especially when you wanna feel your toto, mami.
ILY. See you all at the top of the week for the 7/7 portal!
x
This made me cry. I am so glad you got some healing, messages and affirmation from a fellow practitioner. Idk if you've read Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hearsey-but it really helped me rest just reading it and absorbing the messages. If you don't have it message me on IG I will send it to you. A book I think everyone should be required to read. One of the most powerful. If you aren't familiar with her work her IG is nap ministry I am pretty sure!